A Blue Tale Page 9

  “What are you doing here?”

  “After the other night, I just needed to see you, and I couldn’t stay away any longer. I stopped by the office and they said you weren’t in yet…so here I am.”

  “I’m so glad you’re here.” I told him and felt his body relax against me.

  “Well that’s shocking for me to hear, but I’m glad to hear it.”

  I looked up at him and he smiled. His dark eyes searched my face, trying to understand my emotions. He wiped the dampness from my cheeks then held my face tilted up toward his. Tears continued to silently trickle down my face.

  “Tell me what’s going on. This can’t be just about your mother.” He paused, “Is this about Chastain? What’s going on with you two? I told you, he’s trouble.”

  I lightly shook my head and he released me. “No, nothing’s going on with us.” At least that wasn’t a lie now. “I’m just a big bundle of emotions for some reason. I’m sorry you have to see me like this.”

  He let out an amused grunt. “I’m not. You’re always so guarded; I want to see you real. I know you feel, Elizabeth, you just don’t ever show me. You hide everything from me, the good and the bad.”

  “Have I ever told you how much I love you?” I said with a teasing smile.

  “Not for quite some time.” He smiled back. “But, I suppose, that has more to do with my fuck-ups than it does you.”

  “You do fuck up, Shaw. But I will always love the part of you that still loves me: my friend, not my boyfriend.” I admitted because it was the truth, and always had been.

  “Those two people are separate?” He questioned.

  “To me they are. The boy that helped chase away the boogie monster is not the same man that was unfaithful to me.” I released a stream of bitterness from my lungs. “They can’t be the same because I can’t lose that boy—I need him.”

  My voice cracked and the tears came faster, and with more intensity. This was the first honest conversation we’d had in a long time. I’d lost the friend side of Shaw too long ago to even remember, but now I knew I needed him. I finally saw I needed my friend more than I ever truly understood. The funny thing was I think I’d owed the revelation to Deacon and my mother: you don’t realize how much you need the people you love until you’re screwed over by the people that don’t love you.

  “I love you, too.” He said, with pain so clearly etched on his face, I knew his heart was hurting as much as mine. “I always have.”

  He leaned down and placed his lips on my forehead, and I leaned into his kiss.

  “Can we do something today? Just us.” I asked.

  “Don’t you have work?” he questioned.

  “I need a mental health day.” I said with a smile. “I need a ‘Shaw day off.’ Just me and my friend.”

  He smiled again, and it was beaming. “Me too, baby, me too.”

  He lightly touched his lips to mine, and I let him because I needed it. I needed to feel the connection we’d once had, not only the physical one, but the emotional one. I felt completely lost, and I needed an anchor back to who I was, and only Shaw could do that for me.

  I heard the front door close and looked to see Willow and Duke standing on the steps, staring at us. The look on their faces was that of total confusion, and I truly understood because I felt the same way. My emotions were giving me mental whiplash.

  “Umm, good morning?” Willow finally said, sounding more like a question than a greeting.

  “Good morning, Will.” Shaw returned, completely oblivious to the reason for her confusion.

  “What are you doing here, Shaw?” Willow asked with a slight accusatory tone, but her eyes were on me the entire time she walked to us.

  “I stopped by looking for Elizabeth, good thing, too, because Christie was here.” He answered then looked to Duke. “Hey man, I’m Shaw. We haven’t officially met, but I’ve seen your show before.”

  Duke’s eyes went from Shaw, to me, and then back. “Hey, umm hi. Do you work with Eli?” He asked.

  “Sometimes.” Shaw answered with a laugh, finally noticing the awkwardness, and after the encounter with Deacon yesterday I think he understood it.

  “I’ll explain.” Willow told Duke, “Well, I’ll try to explain because I don’t understand them either.”

  Willow moved to me and pulled me aside to wrap her arms around my waist and whisper in my ear. “I’m sorry your mother was here.”

  I nodded and whispered back, “Thanks.”

  “I have no clue what’s going on, sweetie, but be careful okay? I don’t want you hurt…again. I don’t know why you’d even be talking to him, much less looking all chummy right now; he doesn’t deserve your love. Hell, he doesn’t even deserve your forgiveness.”

  “Willow, I gave him that a long time ago.” I said, pushing away from her. “I forgave him because of all the things right he’d done, instead of hating him for the one thing he’d done wrong.”

  She stared straight into my eyes for several seconds before she must have finally seen what she was looking for,or simply gave up. She nodded and reached for Duke’s hand.

  “Let’s go, you owe me pancakes.” She pulled him toward her car.

  “So what do we want to do today?” I asked Shaw, suddenly feeling giddy at the idea of ignoring my problems for one fun filled day.

  “What do you want to do?” He replied with a mischievous look.

  “Ooh, do I get to pick? Yeah, let me pick, let me pick.” I said, bouncing up and down on my toes.

  He shook his head and laughed at me, “What has gotten into you?”

  I stopped bouncing and stared at him. “What do you mean?”

  “You’re happy, like the old Elizabeth.” He said and pulled me into a hug I willingly accepted.

  We climbed into his overpriced Range Rover and headed down the freeway.

  “We’re gonna have to talk about what this is really about at some point.” He said after we’d been driving for awhile.

  I groaned. “I know, but can we enjoy ourselves for a while? Pretend we’re just two normal people driving to the beach for a day of fun, and not who we really are.”

  “Baby, we can pretend all day if that’s what you want. I just don’t know if that’s what’s best for you.” He placed his hand over mine and brought it to his lips.

  “I love when you do that.” I said, and immediately wondered when the filter between my brain and my mouth had broken.

  “When I do what?” He asked with a smirk that was sexy as hell.

  “When you’re sweet; when you care.” I answered because it was too late to stop being honest now.

  “I’m sorry I ever stopped being sweet.” He sighed. “Elizabeth, no matter what I’ve ever done to you, I never stopped loving you. I need you to know that.”

  I squeezed his hand, “I know, I promise I do.”

  “I was just a scared coward.” He barely whispered.

  “Scared? Of what?”

  “Us. How strongly I felt for you, how much I’ve loved you since we were young, and I was never sure you felt the same way—you’re hard to love sometimes.” He released my hand and placed it on his leg. “But I should have never hurt you, all I’ve ever needed is you.”

  I smiled at him because I’d felt that way, too…once. “Shaw, sometimes I think we’re better friends than lovers.” He raised an eyebrow at me. “Yeah, okay, so we’re great at the physical part of being lovers, but it seems to mess everything up. Our love as friends is much stronger.”

  “No. We can be great; I just need you to give me one last chance. I know we can be more.”

  I stared at him, not sure what to say. Deep inside I felt hope and excitement brewing at the thought of us again. But another part of me could never believe it would work, I just didn’t trust him now, and I didn’t know if I ever could again. Blue eyes flashed through my mind, followed by an echo of the word Angela – I pushed both of them aside, they didn’t matter now.

  I moved my hand off his l
eg, but he caught it midair and put it back, laying his hand on top of mine. “I won’t take no for an answer, baby. I know you want this, too. You’re just scared, and I don’t blame you for that. But give me one more chance, you don’t have to trust me now, just give me a chance to win your trust back. Because I will.”

  I didn’t say anything; I just nodded, knowing that’s the answer he wanted.

  Time passed slowly the last part of our drive, he didn’t bring it up again, and I tried to stop the anxiety that kept building as his words churned and spun around in my head. One minute I was willing to trust him, then memories of the overwhelming hurt I’d once felt at his betrayal would shatter that trust again. But I’d tried, even if it was briefly, to open myself up to a different life, a different man, and he’d left me the first chance he got after I’d opened up about everything with my dad. At least with Shaw I knew what I was getting.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Eli Blue

  We pulled down the long drive that led to his beach house. It was flanked with tall trees with large pink blooms on them. I rolled down the window and could immediately smell their sweet scent. I was exactly where I was meant to be today, I had no doubts because everything felt so right. But that didn’t mean tomorrow would be the same; I just knew today I wanted to be here with Shaw.

  The road opened into a circular drive where I saw Dave’s Mercedes parked. I looked at Shaw and he didn’t look pleased.

  “Sorry, I didn’t know he was here.”

  “It’s fine, I haven’t seen him in a while—I’ve missed him, too.”

  We’d barely made it through the front door when we were greeted by a half dressed, busty blonde that didn’t look happy to see us. The snarl on her face stopped me dead in my tracks.

  “Umm, like…what are you doing here?” She asked in a perfect airheaded tone.

  “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” I shouted at her. “It’s not enough you slept with Shaw, but now you’re here with Dave?”

  “Where’s my dad?” Shaw muttered, walking past her.

  The girl didn’t look amused and took off after him.

  “Dad?” Shaw hollered.

  “Dave?” She shrieked two steps behind him.

  I frowned and followed after them.

  “Son, what are you doing here?” I heard Dave ask cheerfully as I entered the breakfast area and saw him lounging by the large bay windows with his coffee cup. His eyes moved from Shaw, to me, and then to the girl and the huge smile on his face faded.

  Shaw didn’t speak, so I pushed past him. “What’s she doing here?” I demanded.

  “What?” He asked, completely confused as to why we were asking about his latest conquest.

  “Look, it’s not my fault if you can’t hang onto your man for one night. So don’t be all pissy with me when it’s him you should be mad at.” The girl shrieked in her defense.

  “Her?” Dave asked. “This is who you screwed around with? Seriously, son, her? I’m disappointed.”

  “Dave!” The girl whined.

  “Yeah, Dave, it is. I don’t really like seeing her here with you, either. What the hell is wrong with you guys?” I asked disgusted.

  “No clue what my son’s problem is, but I was just looking to get laid.” He shrugged.

  “Shit dad! We thought we were gonna have a day at the beach, and this is what we find.” Shaw said.

  “Apparently, the beach just isn’t for us.” I mumbled under my breath, vowing to never step foot on the beach with a man again because blonde bimbos were bound to swarm.

  “Nonsense, this is just a small inconvenience. I’ll get her out of your hair, and it’ll be like this never happened.” Dave waved me over and patted the seat next to him and reached toward the counter, then turned to hand me a steaming mug of my favorite brown liquid. “Honey, I’m so glad to see you. Sit; talk. I won’t leave ‘til you do.”

  I followed his orders and sat next to him.

  “Dave.” The blonde girl whined.

  “Shh, I think you’ve damn well done enough around here. I’m going to visit with my family then we’re leaving. Go get your things so you can be just another disappointing memory for us all.” He said, effectively dismissing her.

  “You’re such a Casanova.” I teased.

  “Hey don’t knock it, I do alright for my age. Even if it’s my son’s leftovers.” He winked at me.

  “Ugh, that’s disgusting!” I shrieked at his male humor.

  “Too soon for jokes?” He teased.

  “Dad, seriously. Stop!”

  “Son, calm down. I promise I’ll leave in thirty minutes, or less; I won’t ruin any plans you have of wooing our dear Elizabeth today.”

  I laughed, but Shaw rolled his eyes.

  “You two talk all you want, I’ll get the things from the car.” Shaw leaned down and brushed his lips against my hair before he headed back to the front door.

  “So, what did my son have to do to drag you here, anyway? I thought you were done with him?” He raised both eyebrows at me, making his eyes grow wider.

  “Now…is that any of your business?” I teased, raising my eyebrows, too.

  “No, no it’s not. But that’s never stopped me before, so spill.” He leaned back in his chair, propped his feet on the window ledge, and started sipping his coffee. He obviously wasn’t going anywhere soon.

  “Just taking a break. Taking a day away from it all, and Shaw just happened to be there when I needed him.” I sighed. “It’s all just too much sometimes, ya know?”

  “Yeah, I definitely do. You know you can tell me anything, Elizabeth. I love you like you’re my own daughter; I’d do anything for you. I hope you know that.” He said, reaching out to lay his hand on mine.

  “I do, I really do. But I don’t have anything more to tell. I swear.”

  “We can talk in half-truths if you want. But you’ve never been untruthful with me before, so I don’t know why you’d start now.” He didn’t even turn to look at me thinking his words would be enough to make me spill – they usually were. But there was no one that could make me talk about a blue eyed guitar player, not even Dave.

  “That is the truth, honest. It just might not be all the truth, but since when have any of us been completely upfront about anything?” I threw his guilt trip back at him and watched as it put a smile on his face.

  “Touché.”

  “I’m not ready to spill, but if I need to, you’ll be the first one I cry to.” I finally said and he stopped asking me questions.

  “I truly hope so, love.” He said then we sat in silence enjoying our coffee.

  He would occasionally peek at me and smile, but I knew it was just because he missed me. After my dad died, Dave practically became my fatherly protector, but as things got rocky with Shaw, I had pulled further and further away – even from Dave. Shaw was his son; I wasn’t his daughter, no matter how much he loved me. I’d never let any of the shit between Shaw and me come between him and Dave. Never.

  “I love my son, but I love you, too. Don’t let him hurt you again, you deserve more.” He said, breaking the silence.

  I nodded just as Shaw came back into the room.

  “Okay, we’re all set. You get your old ass outta here, and don’t forget to take your visitor with you,” he said, pointing to his dad, “and you get your cute ass into this string bikini and let’s go swimming.”

  He shot my bikini at me like a sling shot. I caught it midair and stood to find the bathroom. “Your wish is my command.” I said. As I walked by, he reached out and slapped my ass, causing me to gasp in surprise. I turned to look at him and decided today might be more than I bargained for.

  Before I made it into the bathroom, I heard Shaw tell his dad goodbye then he ran after me.

  “Elizabeth, I’m really sorry she was here.” He said, his eyes searching my face.

  “Really couldn’t have been worse timing, right?” I groaned.

  “I would have never brought you here if I’
d have known.”

  “I know you wouldn’t have, Shaw. Honestly, it just shows me what kind of person she truly is; it almost makes it easier.” I shrugged. “If that even makes sense.”

  He smiled at me, and I disappeared into the bathroom to change.

  “We’re definitely staying on the private beach.” Shaw announced when I came back out with my bikini on.

  “Why?” I asked, confused.

  “Because I don’t feel like punching some guy’s lights out today, it’d ruin the mood.”

  “What are you talking about?” I laughed.

  He walked to my side and ran his hand up my arm, from my fingers to my shoulder, in one long stroke. “I’m talking about the way you look, so much skin.” He whispered softly.

  His eyes were on fire with desire, and I felt that fire light my insides as he snaked his tongue out to lick his lips.

  “Oh Lord, don’t say things like that to me.” I said, turning to face him. “You never know what they’ll make me do.”

  He had changed into his swim trucks, and his bare chest was even more beautiful than I remembered. I ran my hand from the waist of his shorts up his rippled abs, across his chest, and circled my fingernail around his nipple. He inhaled a sharp breath at the sensation then crashed his mouth to mine, and there was no gentleness from either of us in our kiss.

  I ran my hands into his short hair and held on tight. His mouth felt nice, familiar. It reminded me where I once belonged, and who I used to be. His tongue felt like molten lava against my mouth, hot and needy. But it didn’t feel right – something was off, something was missing. Desire was pooling in my core and spreading everywhere all at once, but it wasn’t like it used to be; it was all want with no emotion. Once again my body couldn’t decipher its needs from its wants, and my heart would pay the price. Every inch of my body screamed to be filled, but I wasn’t sure it was Shaw I ached for.